A Bad Joke

The raid on Doone Valley was successful. Captain Stickles and John Ridd go before Judge Jeffreys to explain it.

Judge "Captain has told me of your good service to the crown. In recognition, I decided to be merciful. You'll still be hanged of course, but I'll spare you the drawing and the quartering." A long pause. "It was a joke."

(Gasps of relief and joy from John Ridd and Captain Stickles)

Judge: "The king is well pleased with you and you may return home without a stain on your reputation. Against my advice, I might say, he is also offered you a reward of fifty gold sovereigns. Your not pleased?"

John Ridd "Of course, my Lord. Only, there's one thing that money, can't buy me."

Judge "I take it your referring to Lady Lorna Dugal. You presume a great deal."

John Ridd "I know that."

Judge "Well I'll speak to his majesty and if the queen is in a romantic disposition such a marriage might appeal to her, but there again you 
see Lady Lorna cannot marry a commoner. So suppose I could if I have to persuade his majesty ---- and it won't be easy! --- to um, give you a knighthood."

John Ridd "Thank you, my Lord." (Giggles with joy and walks towards the door, but pauses and turns back.)

Judge "What is it now?"

John Ridd "There is one more thing, your honor." 

Judge "Spit it out man."

John Ridd "A pardon for Tom Faggus."

Judge "The man is a renegade. You test my patience, John."

John Ridd "He fought with equal bravery against the Doones."

Judge "I hear his name mentioned again, I'll hang him on principle. Get out before I change my mind."